Returning to Normal
June 4, 2009
I have talked to many of my friends about the recovery after having a baby and they have all told me that it surprised them how long it takes. Now, I am not talking about the weight gain, but “down there.” Even though Nicole Kidman was back to a skinny stick two weeks later, I am pretty sure she was still recovering in other places.
When I talked to my friends, the first thing I said was, “Why didn’t you freakin’ tell me about the recovery?” Many said they didn’t want to scare me. Well, I was already pregnant, not like I could go back! I cannot stress how much I wished someone had told me about the recovery. (I still have to finish my post with details about the recovery immediately after labor.)
At four months, I saw a friend who had her baby five days before I had Peyton. I told her she looked great. “It’s been hard,” she said. We commiserated over the loose skin on our bellies. “Man,” she said. “The worst are my breasts. I mean, they are jacked up.”
And recently, I was discussing about losing the weight with Yoga Mama, who also mentioned that it took her five months to feel normal. So, it’s a very common reality but no one seems to talk about it. We have all these books about pregnancy and then it seems to stop there. No advice or help about after labor — definitely the time when you need the most help and have a lot of questions!
I would say that at around five-six months, I started to feel like I was my old self. I know at four months postpartum, things still felt kinda strange — like the pressure when urinating and mild soreness – a constant reminder of what came out of me. Then there were other things too: my wedding band and shoes not fitting, the hair falling out, the constant heat flashes, the back pain. But at around five months, I started feeling like I was finally bouncing back. Some of my shoes fit again (but it still took about 9-10 months for them to be ‘comfortable’), my wedding band fit, my hair stopped falling out, and — most importantly — I felt normal “down there.” I wasn’t feeling weird anymore.
Then around nine months, more weight started to come off, which I’m not sure what I can attribute it to. Less time to snack? More afternoon walks with Peyton when the weather got better? I really stopped caring about the weight and figured I would deal with it when I could. I just didn’t have the energy to worry about it at the moment. And, strangely, it started to slip off and I am about three pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. It all makes sense — it took nine months to pile on, it will take that long to come off.
A new mom in my neighborhood put a lot of pressure on herself about losing the weight when her baby was only a month old. I told her that it was unrealistic to feel that way so early, even though I felt the same way when Peyton was a month old. We just expect our bodies to somehow go back instantly after nine months of major changes.
But after losing the weight, your body actually doesn’t completely go back. My stomach is still a little doughy. The pooch returns a lot more quicker than before if I slack off. The boobs aren’t as perky. Stretch marks are less noticeable but are still vague reminders. The good thing is I can truly say that about eight months post-partum, the pain of delivery memories didn’t really affect me as much. I started to think that I could do this again.
If you knew me before Peyton, you would know I was not a baby person. The transformation has even astounded the hub. When I see newborns, I weep (even the not so cute alien-looking ones). When I see babies, I go over and look. When my friends bring their babies, I get in line to hold them.
Some of my friends who have had babies around the same time as I did are already pregnant with their second ones. I’m not so sure if I’m ready to be pregnant again so soon, but check back in a year.
Entry Filed under: motherhood, postpartum. .
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