Reflections on Pregnancy

As my pregnancy winds down, I have learned that there are so many things out of your control. I definitely had some major delusions about pregnancy before it happened to me. I thought I would be that petite woman who only gained 20 pounds and looked super cute all the time. I thought I would be able to fight the fatigue and continue leading my life the way it was before. I definitely have a deep respect for women who do it several times. I don’t want to sound smug, but you will never understand until you go through it yourself. I realize that much of how pregnancy affects you is hereditary and suddenly, your body has a mind of its own and you’re just the passenger.

If you’re curious as to how your own pregnancy will be one day, I highly recommend that you look for photos of your mom, or if you have a sister, see how her pregnancy was. For someone who was doing cardio kickboxing, prenatal fitness, prenatal yoga and supplemented with occasional trips to the gym and pilates at home, and who ate pretty well, I firmly believe now that how you carry is hereditary. The Girlfriends Guide had some real truth to it when she said how much you gain is out of your control (unless you purposefully starve yourself). There’s a reason Heidi Klum looks great after having kids (besides having money). There’s also a reason why she’s a model! In my experience, towards the end of my pregnancy, I was a replica of my sister and mom, despite the fact that my sister and I have total opposite body types.

Seriously…

So I went in for my non-stress test and to check the fluid… pretty routine, right? The hub was going to go back to work after the appointment and I was going to go home and do some work.

The dr (not my OB, but a specialist) checked the fluid on a sonogram and said it was normal, but on the lower end. Then he asked me if I had any contractions and if the baby had been moving. I said I had been getting the menstrual cramping pain since last night and I thought the baby had been moving fine. He pulled out the results from the non-stress test and said, “Well, it looks the baby’s heartbeat went down three times and as a precaution, you should go directly to labor and delivery.” “HUH?!” both the hub and I said. “Hahaha, yes, go get admitted and we’ll send over the paperwork. We don’t want to risk anything,” he told us. “But I’m being induced Monday,” I said. “Oh, well I guess it’s today! ” the dr said. He asked how far I was effaced and dilated and I told him. “Ah, you’re in good shape then!”

So the hub and I quickly walked to the hospital (which is right next to the dr’s office) and I was blubbering about all the things I had to do and whatnot. As we took the elevator up, we met another pregnant woman who was doing her labor breathing. “Are you OK?” I asked. “Yeah, it’s not so bad,” she said. She told me she was also supposed to be induced on Monday but her water broke in the morning and the contractions started. She seemed remarkably calm. Then we all walked over to get registered and the staff were stunned that two pregnant women were being admitted at the same time. One of them asked, “Are you here together?”

Thirteenth OB Appointment

I arrived and many of the staff who already recognize me were like, “Oh, still?” The nurse took my blood pressure and she said it still wasn’t bad. Was weighed and had gained a pound.

The dr came in and said, “Nothing yet, huh!” We told her that we weren’t desperate enough yet to try the castor oil and Gatorade mix. “And the full moon didn’t work!” she said. She said my legs looked a little better. I told her I was drinking tons of water. She said my blood pressure was a little up but still within the healthy range, and everything seemed to appear normal. She told us that she had six deliveries on Saturday because of the thunderstorm!

She asked if I had noticed any changes and I told her there seemed to be an increase in the vaginal discharge. She said that’s probably still parts of the mucus plug and thinning of the cervix. I asked how I would know if it’s the amniotic fluid and she said that it can be a gush of water or constant trickles. Then I told her about the cramping I had felt this week and she said it’s a good sign my body’s getting ready.

Full Moon My *ss

I got excited again yesterday because I experienced the menstrual cramping twice and I thought maybe this full moon business had some truth to it! Each time, I went for a walk to get things going. But, nope, nothing happened.

We got a lot of calls from people yesterday asking about our status, including my mom. I told her, “Uh, I think the hub would give you a call!!”

Then, as I lay on the couch to rest my legs, my sister sat there and talked… and talked… and talked and before I knew it, it was 11 PM — which is way past my bed time nowadays. I got up to say I was going to bed and she followed me, still talking. Then I went to the kitchen to drink some water… still talking. Walked to the bathroom and said, “Uh, I’m going to bed.” Then she said, “Oh yeah, OK.” This is the ritual practically every night. Everyone keeps telling me to get my sleep now, but I can’t! My sister keeps me up!

I have my OB appointment this afternoon, so we’ll see what happens and when my induction will be scheduled. I’d like to take a couple of days off before it and relax… maybe sleep ALL day one day — with earplugs so I don’t have to hear my sister and nephew.

Due Date… Not

Today’s the baby’s due date… still nothing.

I had mild cramping pains last night and got all excited. They were very mild, but that’s still a good sign. I went for a walk hoping to jump start something, but when I got home, the pain went away.

Speaking of pain, my sister went to the dr today about her pains and “rash.” Turns out she has SHINGLES! She started having the pains before she arrived and the rash appeared on Saturday. The dr told her it’s triggered by stress and low immunity (that’s why old people often get them). Well, she’s not contagious other than if I touched the rash, which is on her abdomen. There’s nothing she can do or take at this point because she’s halfway through the process.

Maybe it’s better if the baby comes after she leaves…

Forty Weeks

Well… still waiting.

Yesterday, in the AM, I went in for my acupuncture appointment. My acupuncturist looked at me, shook his head, and said, “Man.” I gave him this look, like: “This crap doesn’t work!” He said if I don’t go into labor before my induction, I will be his first patient it’s ever happened to.

Then there was a thunderstorm in the afternoon and I was hopeful since the dr said thunderstorms sometimes trigger labor from the low pressure. I watched the storm at work from a window and patted the belly, “Come on out little one!” Nothing. There’s supposed to be a full moon tomorrow — another old wives tale — so maybe…?

Otherwise, everything is the same. I feel big, my legs swell and hurt, I’m tired… Right now, I’m not feeling optimistic that the baby will arrive this week, so I think I’ll probably be induced. I am concerned though that he’s running out of room. He doesn’t move as much and depending on how I lie down, the belly goes into these odd shapes and I’m sure he’s just squished.

My sister took it upon herself to show me the sagging skin she got from her pregnancies despite losing all the weight. She said hers happened after the second child. Great… another thing to look forward to.

Speaking of my sister, she supposedly came to help me, but I feel like she and my nephew have been more work for me! They sure use up a lot of dishes and then there’s all this food they need. I’ve been so tired since they arrived. Plus my sister has been getting these side pains and developed a strange rash (which, of course, she blames my house and dog). My sister also talks a lot… a lot about nothing. Her stories are long and unnecessarily detailed about people I don’t know or care about. And my nephew is so melodramatic! Everything that comes out his mouth is a whine. All he wants to do is sit in front of the TV and play video games. I definitely see elements of his dad and mom in him — the interrupting (dad), the loud shouting (mom). He’s definitely not as cute as he used to be. We were watching TV last night and the two of them were shouting at the TV or just shouting in general. The dog got so irritated, she got up and moved to another room.

Twelfth OB Appointment

I have postponed the inducement.

These past few days, I just felt really uneasy about it. In my mind, I have the same chances of a c-section if I am induced with Pitocin and if I end up having a “large baby.” I don’t think I’m a good candidate to be induced because I’m not even much more effaced or dilated. Why should I force my body and baby out when my body’s not ready? What really echoed in my head while reading about inducement was “fetal distress.” I just didn’t want to risk it.

I went to my acupuncturist first in the morning and he asked, “Why are you still here?” I replied, “You tell me!!!!” I have another appointment tomorrow and, frankly, am losing faith.

Then I had my OB appointment in the afternoon. The nurse was very sympathetic to my swollen ankles and kept saying, “Poor thing.” She even poked one leg a little — probably didn’t believe they were for real. I was weighed and gained four pounds, which the dr later told me was all water in my legs!!! I had another dr from the practice — who is much more laid back than mine (and I’m thinking of switching to later). I told her my concern with the inducement and she said she didn’t feel adverse to postponing it. I was measuring on track at 39 weeks and hadn’t effaced much more or dilated. The baby’s still doing well (heartbeat in 150s). I told her that I didn’t think waiting an extra week would make that much of a difference in the baby’s size and she agreed. She said I could come in for one more appointment and they may do a non-stress test. Then if I didn’t have the baby by then, they would induce me the week of the 23rd. I felt better about that.

Thirty-Nine Weeks

I have noticed a strange phenomenon among my friends/colleagues. People will call my cell and when I answer, they’ll ask if I had the baby or if I’m in the hospital. Why would I answer my cell if the latter were true? Plus, I’d send out an email announcement, or at least the hub would. My colleagues will send me emails to my work account asking if I had the baby. Well, why would I be checking work email? And wouldn’t my boss post an announcement on the intranet? Or when I go to lunch, people will ask my boss if I left for the hospital — even though my PC and cube lights are still on.

The swelling is even more HORRENDOUS (if possible). I got some compression socks that don’t do squat other than squeeze the mass of flesh into the shape of the sock. I think at this point there’s not much I can do to prevent the swelling. It’s also getting painful because my legs/feet get SO STIFF that it hurts to move them.

Everything’s a chore now — getting dressed (first, finding clothes that fit), laying down, waddling around, getting into the car — and I sweat profusely expelling the energy. The other night, I walked on the treadmill to try and get things going, but I couldn’t even last 10 minutes because my back was so sore from the weight of the baby. I also tried to do some squats because I read it helps prepare for labor, but my knees were buckling and hurting from the weight.

Maybe Soon?

Well, I think the mucus plug fell out. It was definitely something I’d never seen before. I hope it means that things are moving because the heat is really bothering me and making me feel miserable. I’m disappointed that the labor didn’t happen this past weekend. I really thought it might!

I ran down (OK, more like waddled quickly) to the basement (where the hub and I have been lounging for the past week since the heat wave) to tell the hub. Time to get serious! We decided to put our overnight bags in the car. I ran up to the baby’s room and started categorizing all his clothes and tidying it up. And maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I felt the baby move further down.

But maybe the baby’s just fooling with us. Maybe he’s taking it easy because he knows how hot and humid it is outside!

(Just to let you know that I am not exaggerating about the cankles — I saw a friend this past weekend who has been reading the blog and she was shocked to see the transformation of my ankles.

And dammit, Jessica Alba beat me to it!)

Thirty-Eight Weeks

The swelling in the legs are terrible. I’ll put my feet up and the swelling will go down considerably. Then I get up for an hour or so to do stuff and they’ll get uncomfortably swollen again. My legs get tight and stiff, and it’s hard to move around — especially when bending. I read that exercise helps, but I don’t think that’s true because I took a walk this past weekend and it didn’t get any better. For some reason, my right leg is worse off than the left. It even gets really uncomfortable in my toes because my feet are so swollen, I can barely move them.

I got some compression socks this past weekend, but couldn’t find any in size small. They were all medium or larger, and the mediums are a little loose. I got them anyway, and I think they help a little — but it’s been getting warm and my feet get hot wearing socks.

I’m really feeling big and uncomfortable right now. My clothes barely fit. I can barely walk. I feel like an elephant! I can’t believe how big the belly grew over the weekend. I feel like either I or the baby has gained five pounds in two days.

The baby’s been moving quite a bit and very strong, and he’s been getting frequent hiccups, which makes my entire belly rumble. It’s very distracting and sometimes keeps me up when I’m trying to sleep. I am really afraid he’s running out of room because when he moves now, it’s like he’s trying to stretch, but is squished and seems frustrated.

My sister called me earlier this week in preparation for her visit. She asked if I wanted her to bring anything, like clothes for the baby and I said, “No more clothes. The kid has more clothes than the hub and I combined.” Then she asked if I wanted her postpartum clothes. Considering my experience with the maternity clothes, I said no. Then she said, “Your clothes won’t fit. You’ll need bigger clothes.” (This is very typical of my sister.) “No, I don’t want them. Don’t worry about what I’ll wear,” I said. “Oh, but you’ll want to go out. I have shorts! Nike shorts!” I wanted to scream that we have different styles — she of the ’80s and me of urban chic! Then I said, “Well, you’ll have to pay for checking in luggage. Just keep your clothes.” “Yeah, you’re right,” she said. I knew that would work — she’s quite frugal.

I talked to my boss about telecommuting one day a week before my due date and he said it’s fine. Yay!